The Mountains Loom

Slept in. Felt nice after the long day. We got to check out and are told there's free coffee. We each pour a dixie cup and slurp it down. Brown water, again! When you try a variety of places in search of coffee west of the mississippi you start to assume everyone's a little slower because they make such weak coffee. Now I am not a coffee snob, i wouldn't even call myself a coffee drinker. As with most edible things in my life, if you put it in front of me and tell me it's food, I'll eat it in half the time it took to make it (I know, horrible but it's on my 'things to remedy' list). It's about texture and substance rather than taste on my tongue so for me a cup of coffee is this:

Again. Working on that. 

So you can imagine how bad these cups of coffee have to be in middle america for someone who inhales rather than eats to notice that your coffee sucks. So I went out on a limb and tried this gas station super insano blend that claimed "Twice the Caffeine!" TO my logic, twice the caffeine meant twice as much as their awful coffee...so...east coast coffee. A ladytrucker reminiscent of Large Marge saw me eyeing it and muttered "oh man, does that stuff work...". 

I dunno if it had twice the caffeine but it was the first time since setting out that there was a noticeable difference between me asleep and me after a cup of coffee. I downed the thing and spent the morning leaning out the window at 80 miles an hour yelling into the wind.

Then up came the mountains.

Bighorn National Forest. I remembered my father's warning about going up hills in this car. If the car was going to overheat it would be going up long hills. These were no hills. These were giant green mountains that loomed over the fields of pale yellow. You do not go straight up over mountains. You go up hill, back and forth around one or several mountains until you reach the top. And as we got closer to the base the top seemed higher and higher.

                               
 Going very slowly and allowing every person behind us to pass we trudge up and up and up leaving behind the yellow and brown of the ground below.

We had to stop several times to let Deezy cool off and there were two or three times where she took an extra second to turn over. We made some peanut butter sandwiches I thought she might be able to use some help so I drew a power star next to her name.

After about an hour of slow climb we hit the top. We climbed 4000 feet in a 91 Geo Prism! As soon as we were on top the landscape changed immensely!

It went from this

To this

 It went from mountain green to desert sand in no time flat. We cruised down the mountain stopping here and there to let Deezy breathe and stretch our legs. Instead of overheating the engine now we had to worry about over heating the brakes! All down hill for miles at a time.

Eventually we reached the bottom of the mountains and then it was just flat. So flat. So unbelievably flat. 

Then it got lumpy and towns would spring up here and there but it made for excellent driving at top speed. 


We hit Cody for lunch then plowed through towards Yellowstone. The terrain started building up and up again and the speed limit kept going down and down. Eventually we were cruising at 25 miles an hour through this beautiful canyon type scenario along a river and I just loved it. Lazily driving along with time to admire the surroundings, everyone passing us because we were driving exactly the speed limit. Ahhh it was great. Then when I thought it couldn't get any better...

WATER!!!!!!

In all seriousness folks I did not realize how much I missed large bodies of water. We had been landlocked for a week and I nearly cried when we came out of that tunnel. Forget corner stand gyros, Bagels, Union Square Pillow fights, any of that stuff, it was being so close to water my entire life that I missed. In englewood we had the hudson. In Brunswick it was the dirty stinkin raritan. in europe I was never far from a large body of water. My whole life I've been within twenty minutes of a large body of water and it took me this moment to figure out I hadn't seen one in days. It was awe inspiring. 

Of course the entire sky was full of smoke because like everywhere else west of the mississippi there were forest fires. Not kidding. When we were driving from St louis the median of the highway was on fire randomly. No one was panicking but THE MEDIAN OF THE HIGHWAY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED! So the background was all hazy but it was still lovely to see on that slow drive. 

We pulled into Yellowstone about half an hour later. And pulled to the side of the road at the top of a Loooooooooong hill. 

We recorded a song in the woods behind me because there was an awesome whistling/howling sound coming from the wind through the hollow trees. Dylan grabbed the melodica and I got two drum sticks and we had a nice ten minute song recorded. I video taped it too so once we get coordinated enough we'll put the two together and post it here. 

The most exciting thing that happened that day however was yet to come. 

                                          BUFFARO!!! ALL UP IN OUR ROOOAAAD!

                                    These buffaro just hung out in this field all the time. And just did not care to move for anyone. The RV in front of us was actually bumping into them and they'd kinda go "guuuuhhhhh fiiiiiine. I'll move if I have to..." They had an ambulance and a ranger come and try to direct them. But Buffaro didn't care. They did what they want. There were a couple interesting moments where they came up alongside out car and looked at us REAL shifty. That one that stopped to scratch its head in the road was the worst. He just did WHATEVER he wanted. At one point just broke away from the rest and ran the opposite direction up the road. Then stopped and ran the other way down the double yellow lines. Crazy Buffaro.

We got our camping lot and set up the tent. It was set to be an interesting evening.

Next episode: Devastation Strikes! Horrible Night! Straight Chris Mccandless shit!

Stay tuned pilgrims!